Fathers & Daughters


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It’s time time of year again. Father’s Day! Each year, same as I do for Mother’s Day, I do a tribute to my special fathers, this year I’m doing it here with a brief introduction.

I’ve had the privilege of having two fathers,well  if I count my great grandfather I’d three. My great-grandfather taught me how to swim, sail, and about the constellations. Being a sailor himself he shared his love for the ocean with my brothers and I; teaching us about how important it is to our survival. He also taught us to respect the seas and all manner of life therein. He was a tall man, to a child, I’d say a giant. One of my fondest memories of him was the tattoo of an anchor he bore on his left arm; and the story of how he got it. While laying over in the city’s port, they all had a drunken night on the town. The next morning he woke up in his cabin with an anchor on his arm with he and my great grandmother’s initials etched on the bars of the anchor. Typical sailor eh? But at least it wasn’t a tattoo of a mermaid!

My grandfather taught me how to fish, hunt and to respect nature-“Never kill anything you are not going to eat,” he used to tell us, thus teaching us to respect all manner of life; because Like us, they all serve a purpose. My Mother and Father were never married, but he provided for us, where my brothers and I lacked fatherly affection from him, we gained is a thousand times over from my great grand and grandfather.

But I’ll be the first to say I was a rebellious child, which lead to many years being estranged from my father. Though our relationship often stood on rocky ground. There were much lessons learnt from the man who was instrumental in my existence.

From my father I learned the true meaning of trust, I know what to accept and not accept in a relationship; he taught me about business, but the most important lesson learned from my him was to always stay true to myself, and NOT live my life to please others. It’s been a year since his passing and not a day goes by I don’t reflect on his stern face reciting those words to me. I’m happy that there was peace between us before he died; and I found our relationship was bound more out of love than duty.

Now having two daughters of my own, the lessons I’ve learned from these extraordinary men whom I was so fortunate to have passed through my life, have now be passed on them, in hopes that my daughters will bestow the same to their children.

Bartholomew (great grandfather), Ashton (grandfather), Wendal (father)………”For you time has ceased, this is the way of life and all things therein. But for us the memories will forever linger until we meet again……… For you are only sleeping.”

Here’s an old Bahamian spiritual that’s so fitting for this tribute. It speaks about the passing of our loved ones. Songs like these are often sang at ‘Wakes’ or ‘Funerals.’

*****

To dads everywhere, it’s an admirable thing to spend time with your sons. But it’s exceptional to spend time with your daughters. Be their hero. Be there knight in shinning armour……So that when the time comes, they’ll know what to look for to find Mr. Right!

To daughters reading this, your father will always be your father, but he won’t always be HERE. Mend those broken fences, not because he was right and you were wrong. But because life is hard enough without adding extra baggage to your cart. Even if he doesn’t reciprocate the gesture, that will be one less baggage you have to carry 😉

Here’s one of my favourites. For the record, I’ve never danced with my father, but if I could get another chance with him, I most definitely would.

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