“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” Bob Marley
To all you people-pleasers reading this, I may not know who you are, but you know who you are. No need to be ashamed or embarrassed to admit you’re a people-pleaser. I’ve spent the latter part of my teens and early twenties as a people-pleaser, trying to meet other people’s expectations, trying to keep everyone comfortable. As maturity settled in, it became more difficult to do as I realise when we are trying to please others, we are out of sync with our own wants and needs. My needs outweighed theirs, but hey! My needs could wait, and wait they did, as I pushed my needs aside because I wanted people around me to be happy, I wanted them to LIKE ME!
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about thinking of others. It’s that pleasing part that tricks us into thinking we’re helping them. Pleasing someone is by NO means the same as helping them.
People pleasing is the process by which we (you and me), start the guessing game in what we think other people want, or what we can do to make them think favourably of us, and then acting accordingly. It’s usually a subtle unconscious attempt at manipulating their perceptions of us. But……Anytime we pretend to be or feel something that we aren’t just to please people around us, doing something that influences other people’s perception of us, means we’re stepping out of our integrity. How many times have you seen others, or may you yourself, post something on Facebook that makes it seem like they or you are having a great time? That your day is going better than it actually is?
Being out of integrity has pretty serious consequences for your happiness, and for your relationship with others and yourself.
To live with total integrity means being transparent, honest, and authentic; it is better to be who you are, even if it means the risk having people, not like you. Than to suffer the stress and tension that comes from pretending to be someone you’re not, or professing to like something that you don’t. Pretending will rob you of joy, besides it’s easier to be who you are, you will never have to remember that you prefer pigs in a blanket over Caviar 😉
~Always be yourself everyone else is already taken! Happy Thursday!!
©Etta D. Richards