“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.”
~ Ray Goforth
In any business, the top priority is to make money while keeping cost to the minimum and surviving any economic pitfall. One survival mechanism to ensure all this is by cutting all the non-essentials from the company, outsourcing certain services and cutting personnel. Downsizing, restructuring, whatever term they choose to justify it, anyone or thing not essential to the operation of that company is gone. You may not look at it this way but we’re all in business, whether in you’re in business to make money or in the business of life, the bottom line is the same, production (personal development) and surviving the pitfalls (anything life tosses at you).
Just as you would do in business. You bring people into your lives making them a part of your inner circle. But when was the last time you restructured, downsized or re-evaluated your life to see who and what was contributing to your survival? There may be a deep feeling of guilt when cutting people out of your life because even if they don’t contribute to your well being they make up the number. It’s comforting to say, “Hey I have tons of friends.” But there’s no comfort in the numbers, only in substance. If you have 50 friends and only two are contributing to your well-being or personal development the others are merely non-essentials. No company is going to keep 28 non-essential personnel. So why should you?
If by now you’re trying to figure who besides family members (though family members can sometimes be classified as non-essentials) can be considered as non-essentials in your life.
Here are a few tips for identifying those Non-Essentials:
1. They bring nothing to your life: Shooting the breeze is great but if the only thing you have in common with this person is sharing a pint on the weekend or a cup of coffee during your break and catching up with the latest office or neighbourhood gossip. If gossip is the only thing they bring, that person is bringing no real substance to your life. Time to whip out the pink slip!
2. They are not trustworthy: I may sound like I’m repeating myself on this one, but just so it sinks in. Trust is an issue in any relationship. If there are trust issues with someone who you have been genuinely honest to the point of building a friend. Step back, take stock and ask how essential is this person in my life. Once trust is broken it takes a long while to rebuild, sometimes never. So I would consider putting that person on the downsizing list.
3. They take more than they give: There’s always that one person who loves coming to the party but never brings anything to the party. Yup! They love your company but they suck the life out of you. There’s no even exchange of investment, you’re investing in them but you have to ask yourself….who’s investing in me? When someone is quite comfortable sitting at your table and walking away completely satisfied leaving you hungry. Severe those ties!
4. They are small minded: Some people just can’t see from your point of view. I think everyone knows as least one turtle. That person who simply cannot see past that single blade of grass. Any idea you pitch to them is shot down because your vision is too big for them to see. Instead of viewing the world in panoramic they peep through the keyhole. Their small minds cannot conceive the concept of anything above their level. Accept this and wish them well their path on their dim-lit path to nowhere.
** Next Monday’s blog will be about keeping yourself relevant and how not to fall into the non-essential category both on and off the job.
©Etta D. Richards