Meaningful Monday-Learning How To Think, Is More Important Than Learning What To Think


“The attempt to prevent our kids from struggling for fear it might scar their permanent records is, instead, scarring them for life.”
~Heather Choate Davis

The decisions you make dictate the life you live. The great part of it all is that if you don’t like the way things are going in your life, you have the option accepting the way things are or of making changes for a different outcome. Do you teach your child(ren) this concept of living or do you teach them that anything going wrong in their life is a direct fault of someone else? Do they constantly hear you complain about someone else being at fault for your failures?


Children learn what they live. Teaching them HOW to think is more important than teaching WHAT to think. Teaching your child to be self-sufficient in making decisions for themselves without your approval as a parent is crucial for their personal growth. I’m not saying that you cannot give parental advice because it’s your job as a parent to offer guidance when needed. But the final character building decisions should be left to the child themselves. Think about it, everything that has moulded you into the person that you are now;  comes from the direct result of the decisions you made and you shouldn’t rob your child of learning from their mistakes or that feeling of satisfaction when they have made phenomenal life-changing decisions.


Your child may be a branch of your tree, but eventually, that branch must be severed and allowed to root itself. So many parents are dead set on living their children’s lives for them. Parents feel compelled to deter their children from the pain of making the same mistakes they may have made themselves. You can hold your child’s hands when the going gets tough but you can never walk in their shoes, despite their situations seeming to mirror yours of the past, they have to deal with them, not you. All of this lone decision making, will strengthen their mind muscle, build character and give them the confidence in themselves they will need when you’re not around.


What did you learn from your parents? Where you allowed to make sound decisions on your own or guided safely into shore by them?

~Happy  Monday

©Etta D. Richards


7 comments on “Meaningful Monday-Learning How To Think, Is More Important Than Learning What To Think

  1. […] easy. Doing any of those things took concentration, the willingness to learn and determination. Building character works the same way, it’s difficult until it becomes easy. The goal in character building is […]


  2. […] I read somewhere that the only person you should be better than, is the person you were yesterday and I firmly believe this. But how do you become better than you were from one day to the next? It begins with personal growth and setting challenges for yourself. […]


  3. […] parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children values and ideals that will help them become responsible human beings who will […]


  4. My parents were born in 1930. Meaning they survived Jim Crow, the Great Depression and World War II. They prepared me for life as a Black girl then Woman living in America. No glossing over. No sugar coating. They were tough because life was tough as it still is. That’s why I’m tough. I’m glad for my upbringing and I Thank God every day for Edward & Mable. They gave us both Character, morals, and values. Old Fashioned Tough Love. One of my Dad’s favorite sayings was, You made your bed. Now lie in it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EttaD says:

      LOL! You dad sounds like my grandmother, she used to tell my aunts the same thing. My brothers and I were raised in ‘tough love’ as well. I raised my daughters the sameway. I never experienced racism until I went to American for college, I was 17. An old lady got on a crowded bus, I was sitting in the front seat and she looked at me with an indication of me giving up my seat, when I refused she made a comment that ‘We should’ve kept them at the back of the bus where they belong.’ The bus driver who was also white made her get off, his reasoning was that the bus was full but later I notice at the back of the bus a gentleman was straddling two spaces. Sam the bus driver told me don’t wait my time being worried about people like her!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. simpledimple says:

    These are words to ponder on. Thanks for sharing this with us. Have a great week. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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