“The attempt to prevent our kids from struggling for fear it might scar their permanent records is, instead, scarring them for life.”
~Heather Choate Davis
The decisions you make dictate the life you live. The great part of it all is that if you don’t like the way things are going in your life, you have the option accepting the way things are or of making changes for a different outcome. Do you teach your child(ren) this concept of living or do you teach them that anything going wrong in their life is a direct fault of someone else? Do they constantly hear you complain about someone else being at fault for your failures?
Children learn what they live. Teaching them HOW to think is more important than teaching WHAT to think. Teaching your child to be self-sufficient in making decisions for themselves without your approval as a parent is crucial for their personal growth. I’m not saying that you cannot give parental advice because it’s your job as a parent to offer guidance when needed. But the final character building decisions should be left to the child themselves. Think about it, everything that has moulded you into the person that you are now; comes from the direct result of the decisions you made and you shouldn’t rob your child of learning from their mistakes or that feeling of satisfaction when they have made phenomenal life-changing decisions.
Your child may be a branch of your tree, but eventually, that branch must be severed and allowed to root itself. So many parents are dead set on living their children’s lives for them. Parents feel compelled to deter their children from the pain of making the same mistakes they may have made themselves. You can hold your child’s hands when the going gets tough but you can never walk in their shoes, despite their situations seeming to mirror yours of the past, they have to deal with them, not you. All of this lone decision making, will strengthen their mind muscle, build character and give them the confidence in themselves they will need when you’re not around.
What did you learn from your parents? Where you allowed to make sound decisions on your own or guided safely into shore by them?
©Etta D. Richards