When you expect nothing from the world – not the light of the sun, the wet of water, nor the air to breathe – everything is a wonder and every moment a gift.”
The past few months have been one roller coaster ride after another, with each hurdle going higher and higher and the road seems endless.
Ride one began a few months ago we got a notice from the landlord that he was selling the property we’ve called home for the past gives yeses. At the time I went through the motions of trying to figure where to do next. Five years ago we found ourself in the same position, stick in Belgium trying to find a place in Scotland. It wasn’t easy then and though we’re here and have a bit more knowledge of the place, home hunting is still no easier than it was five years ago. In fact it even more difficult. We have looked at several places but now were suitable to our needs, I think, if you’re going to spend God, knows how long In a place you should at least have the minimum of comfort while you are there. The property we’re in now has grown on us but we’ve outgrown the space, so looking on the bright side. The Landlord’s decision to sell could probably be the Universe’s way of saying it is time to move on.
Ride two came a short time after returning from holiday with news of one of my colleagues being diagnosed with Cancer. She has always been the light bulb in the office, the person who spread joy and wit everywhere. Cancer news always reopens personal wounds for me, I have had so many family members and friends suffer this though this horrible disease and I’ve lost one too many. So hearing the news of anyone I know being diagnosed is always like pulling a band-aid off a wound and a poignant reminder that behind those smiles, everyone is going through their own storm, while you may be at different point of your storm and I am. The fact remains, the storm is there because life is a roller coaster of happiness and grief.
Ride three was hearing of my stepmom’s passing. I think this ride is pushing me slightly to the edge because I so want to be close to my sister and brothers right now. This is when the distance becomes hard. My stepmom had a rough life, she’s had a wonderful life, she lived a full life. Though we were not always close the years healed a lot of wounds and branches of love and friendship grew from those wounds. I think there was a realisation that we both an important part of my father’s life and had to co-exists in his world. She was a beautiful soul inside and out, she was a wonderful friend and grandmother who was stolen too soon by the grips of death. I always say that death makes us more aware of our mortality but it also chips at the heart, bruising its chambers to a point where you realise how painful life can really be. The dead feels no pain, it’s the living that’s left to grieve, live through the memories all while holding it together for the world because the world doesn’t stop for us to pick up the pieces.
This is my submission to Debbie’s Forgiving Friday series, where she writes about and invite others to share their thoughts on Forgiveness, Self-Love and Personal Growth.
©Etta D. Richards