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When you know you’re ENOUGH! When you stop focusing on all things that you’re not.
When you stop fussing over perceived flaws. When you remove all imposed and unbelievable expectations on yourself. When you start celebrating yourself more.
When you focus on all that you are. When you start believing that your perceived flaws are just that – perception”
~Malebo Sephodi

When work becomes routine it is easy to become complacent. When you have been removed from your element it is even more easy to become bored to death of that routine. This is because my brain craves constant stimulation through constructive conversations, work or study. Right now I am at an impasse and my brain is screaming desperately for me to move on and longing for new challenges as it has become lethargic in its present daily routine, it also doesn’t that I don’t like an exact fit to the environment I am in right now. What’s stopping me from giving in to the urge of moving on? The thought of having to sell “me” to another panel.

I have been on many interviews and imagine I will see a few more before retiring into a life of self-employment. Selling myself takes a lot of effort because before just before being before a panel of potential employers I always go through the motions of nervousness, self-doubt and temporary amnesia. Despite my ability to perform well on the job, my dedication to work, the thought of selling myself and expressing my knowledge is always terrifying because I suffer severe impostor syndrome if that is at all possible. Something Former First Lady Michelle Obama said never really goes ways. For me, that old paradigm never truly goes away. It’s something that lingers like a bad smell. It doesn’t matter how experienced one is or what level of knowledge one possesses, fear and self-doubt is something present in all aspect of our lives. It has taken me years to build the strength to control those feelings of not being enough, but the mustard seed of doubt tries constantly to take root and flourish.

A friend of mine whom I hold the highest regards; expressed to me her own lack of self-confidence. He confession came to a shock for me. This is a woman stands up in front of dozens of people during her training sessions, has spoken on many platforms with a smile on her face, a soft conveying tone that gives no hint of self-doubt let alone lack of confidence. He presence exudes confidence but she confessed that in spite of this persona before each session she is a bundle of nerves. That until she sets foot on that stage, her mind is clouded in self-doubt. However, once she’s on stage, she is someone else, she is something more. She’s a teacher and a mentor and it’s the audience that invokes the confidence to deliver her message because they are there for her, they are interested in what she has to say, knowing this brings that ability to deliver her message. She gave me a valuable piece of advice. When you are invited to an interview, you have been chosen from dozens of applicants, once in front of that panel you have to confidently sell yourself as if your life depended on it and even if you don’t get the job you should leave confidentially knowing that you were one of the selected.

What I took from her confession is that even those who we feel may be the best at what they do share the same fears that we do. What was taken from her advice? Even though you have not been selected, know that you are enough.

This is my submission to Debbie’s Forgiving Friday series, where she writes about and invite others to share their thoughts on  Forgiveness, Self-Love and Personal Growth.

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©Etta  D. Richards