How You See Yourself is The Only Important Thing

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Nobody has ever killed themselves over a broken arm. But every day, thousands of people kill themselves because of a broken heart. Why? Because emotional pain hurts much worse than physical pain.
― Oliver Markus Malloy

We can sometimes be our worst enemy. Lately, I have had more anxious days than days of serenity. My mind overflows with ideas, words of poetry and memories I would like to forget. But I have to remind myself that I’m only human. Time is a process that renews all things and time takes its time because putting the pieces back together when life kicks you down takes more effort than we think. It’s finding the effort and strength which can often prolong the healing process. A wish for us when something overwhelms us is that we can turn the clock back to a time when life was not so filled with anxiety and doubt, where peace of mind was a book or feel-good movie away. Where the best place to be was sharing a joke with your significant other.

Coping with unexpected stress as well as other challenges in your life can be frustrating and unhealthy because it takes its toll on your daily life. It’s easy to hold that hurt because it can sometimes be so difficult to accept those things which you cannot control and move on. Things are not always black and white, there is often a touch of grey. It’s those grey areas that keep nagging at you, the unanswered questions, the assurances that all will be ok. These are the unhealthy mechanisms that hold us hostage which can quickly make an already difficult situation even more difficult.

Facing a harsh reality calls for clarity,  as painful and uncomfortable as you might be in that situation, you have to face it head-on, and call it out for what it is. Get in-depth with it, and speak about the cause and effect. The hurt, the pain. Acknowledge the facts without judgement, put the truth out there without sugar coating it and by all means, take responsibility for the role you played in the situation. Avoiding it by sweeping it under the rug in hopes of leaving it in the past, means you’re always holding on to it, it becomes a never-ending present thing, it’s not been swept away, only swept out of sight waiting to resurface at any time. When struggles are faced and dealt with, they are a thing of your past. Which makes it easier to move past, making it easier to heal from.

How you decide to take a stance with whatever it is you might be dealing with right now, trauma, overwhelming stress, heartbreak, disappointment or just not being able to cope with the reality you find yourself in, can make a huge difference in your life. It can determine if you are living a good life or a life filled with stress and anxiety. Don’t turn an already tough situation into a tragic one. Everyone heals differently, don’t give up or become frustrated if your process takes a little longer. I have to constantly remind myself that everything takes time, this helps me to respond to life differently, I’m not what happened to me, I’m how I reacted to situations that left me feeling broken. What’s important is not how the world sees you but how you see yourself. A warrior or a worrier!

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©Etta  D. Richards

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