When Relationships Let You Down….Don’t Let Yourself Down

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People go in and out of our lives, during that time we have to take the bitter with the sweet. The happy with the sad and hope we are not broken in between. YNG

It’s a valid expectation that we expect our friends to uphold their word. Friends are always the first to offer their help when we’re in distress, or in need. We expect them to be that shoulder to cry on when romantic relationships breakdowns, that guest of honour when we through our pity parties,  that listening ear when life is unfair and that soothing voice that says, it’s ok! You’re going to be ok! We put so many expectations into friendships or any relationship for that matter, that it’s only natural to harbour a feeling of betrayal when those relationships do not live up to our expectations.

The simple realistic fact is! Friends will fail you! That significant other, the love of your life, will at times fail you!  Those betrayals will leave you disappointed, sad, and may even leave you a little depressed because you have put so much trust in that person that that act of disappointment will leave you questioning the nature of your relationship and whether it’s even worth continuing. When relationships let you down, you don’t have to let yourself down. How many times a person fails you is totally up to you because second chances are optional and if you give someone a second chance, make sure you’re doing it in good faith, and that you are truly genuine about keeping that person in your life, despite the disappointments.   Don’t give someone a second chance to punish them for disappointing you. 

Be realistic about that relationship moving forward, and build a diverse tribe. You can pretty much tell which friends you can rely on and those you can’t.  If you need to get out or need just need someone to speak to, don’t turn to the friend you know may not have the time to give you, then turn around and be hurt disappointment shows up. I know the friends I can call on when I need help.

Sometimes you have to show up when friends don’t. Speaking about disappointments, how many times have you disappointed your friends? Just as you may have things going on in your life. Know that others are the same. Instead of always looking for someone to show up. Sometimes you have to show out! You have to show the people you’re putting your trust in, how much you value them and maybe they won’t disappoint you so much. 

Accept what you can’t change. People only change if they want to. This goes back to knowing the people you can rely on. If you surround yourself with people who are untrustworthy or unreliable.  You have to question yourself rather than question them! Ask yourself, why do I choose to surround myself with people who I know will disappoint me? When it comes to human nature, you should always expect the unexpected! Even the most loyal relationships fail. Marriages that span decades fall apart, and friendships we’ve had since childhood end.

Finally, just let it go. Let go of the pain, the hurt and the feelings that disappointment can bring.  I was invited out some years ago, ten minutes to the hour I texted my friend to say I will be waiting out front. You can imagine how gutted I was to get the text back to say that she had forgotten to let me know that she’s had to cancel our date. That person went to the bottom of my list and over the years, though she had good intentions, she continues to disappoint. Why are we still friends? I have let go and moved on, I also know that she is not the person to phone in times of immediate need. Each person we allow into our lives brings something different, we have to decide if that difference is worth keeping.

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