6 Companions of Love in Any Successful Relationship

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New love makes you forget, it heals old wounds, it makes you believe that the world belongs to just two of you. YNG

Relationships are great when they work and terrible when they fall to pieces.  Most relationships fall apart because of what is expected from the other person you choose to share your life with.  The great expectation is that the euphoria of new love will last forever. The start of any relationship is the best of a relationship. New love is just that, new.  It’s exciting, it’s exhilarating, it makes your heart race, and you get butterflies in the pit of your stomach and all those wonderful things because life is amazing!!

 During a new courtship, new love is addictive because all desires are heightened, our sexual desire,  our desire to communicate and strengthen that bond with that person, we want them to know as much about us, how much we love them, how attracted we are to them. New love is filled with words of adoration, messages of love and the thought of not being able to live without that other person is so intense, that nothing else matters. Not distance, not friends….. You want to spend every waking moment with that person and for long-distance romance we have the internet helping to keep that love alive.

Some studies say that new love lasts anywhere from six months to a few years whether the relationship ends in marriage or not. Then there’s that “seven-year itch,”  this is supposed to be the point where one or both partners follow their wondering eye and stray. Some couples swear by this. Or maybe the seven-year itch is real because we anticipate it.  Infidelity isn’t the only reason for relationships or marriages to fail. I’ve heard so many people both men and women express various reasons for wanting out, believe it or not falling out of love is the least. 

The most common reason people in long-term relations give for flames dying is,  “He or She, changed, they don’t do what they used to do.”  They’re all expecting the relationship the stay the same as it was during what I would call the “honeymoon stage.” That period where love was new, exciting, and fresh, where they both were clued to a common goal of loving-up each other.  As that new love begins to fade or “grow stale,” I’ve heard some couples express, so does everything else. Men may say, I love my wife or partner BUT when we were dating she did this or she did that. Trust me, women feel the same way, they expect the continuous showering of affection and passion, that open line of communication, those love notes, the showing of gifts to continue for the life of the relationship. 

 What causes so many relationships to break down or that ‘Itch’ to kick in is that couples are not realistic about their relationship, they anticipate the euphoria of new love to last forever when it doesn’t.  It’s impossible to mains the same energy at the start of your relationship for the long haul.  In my first marriage, I always expected things to be the same as it was in the beginning but hey, I was young, inexperienced and unknowing.  We see our parents and grandparents in what seems to be effortless marriages, not knowing what it took to get here.   Life is about constant change, we all change, and sometimes feelings change as well. For the most part, life comes knocking, and couples are tossed into the world of work, kids, managing bills, family gatherings……illness! Things that new love never prepared you for. So suddenly you wonder where did the years go and what happened to the woman or man I married. Nothing! You’re just experiencing a different part of them, the part that has been seasoned by experiences you both went through together.  While love is the basis of all relationships, love has to be supported by other components as well. 

6 companions of Love in any successful relationship…………

1. Communication

2. Honesty

3. Support

4. Trust

5. Boundaries

6. Respect

Life is hard but it’s even harder when you’re in a relationship because there’s a constant battle to navigate through all the woes of life and still maintain a healthy boundary around a loving, lasting relationship. Just as it took two people to create that bond, new love or old. It takes two people to hold it together. The basis of that is to know when to shut the world out and put all your cards on the table. Say what you’re missing, say what you’re feeling, and communicate the way you did when you had those butterflies in your stomach. Walking away from that old flame to ignite a new fire may work for a while. But what happens when that new love grows old


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