Finding Happiness

I think most people are just trying to be happy, and that most of their actions, however misguided, are in line with that goal. Most people just want to feel they belong somewhere, want to be loved, and want to feel they’re important to someone. If you really examine all the wrongheaded and messed-up things they do, they can most often be traced back to that basic desire. The abusers, the addicted, the cruel and unpleasant, the manipulators –these are just people who started this quest for happiness in the basement of their lives. Someone communicated to them through word or deed that they were undeserving, so they think they have to claw their way there over the backs of others, leaving scars and creating damage. Of course, they only create more misery for themselves and others.
― Lisa Unger

Diary of a Not So Mad Black Woman

She needed a hero, so she become one

~Anonymous.

I keep my blogs as neutral as possible. Never swaying one way or another, just keeping it open to all mindsets. A lot of what I write comes from experience and inner expressions. This past year and a half, I’ve had some experiences of life, like all of you, I’ve experienced the impact of a global pandemic. But the past few months, I’ve experienced the impact cancer can have on, not only its victim but their family as well.  Many times it’s the patient that received the care and attention, with the family being left out.  Taking stock of my own well-being and emotional health, I’ve come to the realisation that women are always pushing themselves to do more, be more and be all to everyone. More so for Black women or women of colour as we’re expected to go that extra mile. History had shown us that there is a popular misconception that we are stronger, both physically and mentally, that we can handle anything thrown at us. What’s so unfortunate about this is, this has given many of us a false sense of being Superhuman because many have bought into this misconception.  I myself included! It would be hypocritical of me to say that I have not bought into the be-all, do more, be everything to everyone mindset.

Read more

Why It’s Ok To Say, I’m Not Ok!

why-it's-ok-to-say-you're-not-ok

Be courageous in your acts, in face of judgement have the courage to say……….I’m not ok! ~Etta D Richards

Mental health is so widely used today that many times people with real issues are overlooked. Anxiety and depression are not what most people believe them to be and every experience different levels of stress. While society may dictate what anxiety and depression may be.

Read more

Don’t Dwell On Past Hurts

man-hurt-depression
Photo Credit

The subconscious mind is always tending to express or reproduce on the physical plane every idea that has been presented to it. How important it is to be careful what ideas we allow to enter our subconscious. This is why we should avoid dwelling on unpleasant happenings. ~ Emmet Fox

Phenomenal Friday-Picking UP The Pieces When Life Knocks You Down

mother-3477164_1280
Photo Credit

Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.
~Mary Manin Morrissey

I’ve gone through a lot in my life and I made a rule to myself to never offer advice to anyone on anything that I have not experienced myself, to never judge anyone because we are all going through something in our lives, sometimes many things.  Things that break us down, things that chips away at the spirit and hurts the soul. Through all the heartbreaks, the heartaches, losses and periods of insanity, life goes on.  Time doesn’t stand still to allow us to catch our breath, there is no timeout after that TKO. We’re expected to put one foot in front of the next, pick up the pieces of our shattered lives and move on. It doesn’t matter what we’re going through the show must go on, life expects the most from us during our darkest days.

Read more

Phenomenal Friday- You’re Not Crazy, Depression Is Real Pt. 2

swan-depression-self love
Photo Credit

Depression is NOT about what you see. It’s about how I’m feeling! ~Etta D. Richards

This is the second of my two-part series of speaking about my own partnership with mental health. I don’t call it a battle because battles are won or lost. With partnerships, you come to a mutual agreement.

I know what a rubber band feels like just before it snaps under the pressure of having its fibres stretched to the limit. It’s the point where you think to yourself….”I just can’t take this anymore!” At 16 I felt that snap. I was an emotional wreckless teenager who was falling in love for the first time, under tremendous pressure to perform at school and facing even more pressure to comply with the house rules at home. But I had a home, family that loved me, a guy who said he loved me. So why then was my mind in such despair, where was the HAPPINESS? I had the basics for living and so much to live for, at least so I was told. “Poor people don’t get depressed, suicide is for the wealthy.” Said the man in black Cassock and thin white collar. “Pray about you, it’s puberty, you’ll get over it,” he continued. “You can’t be depressed because you have a well-paid job, life is good to you,” said the medical professional who refused to diagnose my depression because he said it was all in my head and people would think I’m crazy.

My perfect day is not having to perform for anyone, not having to smile and pretend that the world was one big bed of roses.

Read more

Phenomenal Friday-You’re Not Crazy, Depression Is Real!

 

depression-mental health-suicide
Photo Credit 

I smiled not because I was happy, I smiled because it was expected  ~Etta D. Richards

This is the first of my two-part series of speaking about my own partnership with mental health. I don’t call it a battle because battles are won or lost. With partnerships, you come to a mutual agreement.

Growing up in a society where mental health is a HUGE taboo wasn’t easy. You’re either possed by the devil or your drugs (Weed, Cocaine) was laced. I remember seeing my uncle wrestle with his demons and everyone calling him crazy, I remember how lucid he was whenever he came back from the “crazy hill” that’s what they called the rehabilitation centre back home. We kids never knew what that place really was, we only know if you went “crazy” you went there to get better. Years later when my uncle resisted going to the “crazy hill” I tried to talk him down, tried to convince him it was the best place for him because it made him better. He looked at me with wild eyes and he said that place didn’t make him better, then he explained to me what really went on there. The solitude, the blue pills that made you wet yourself even when you didn’t want to, the white pills that made your mind so quiet you forget your own name. The place where the reward for good behaviour was an extra roll on your dinner plate and the reward for non-compliance was a padded cell with a gift of a jacket with buckles and belts.

Read more