The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. ~Barbara Kingsolver,
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death. ~Robert Fulghum,
My life and most people’s lives are a series of little miracles — strange coincidences which spring from uncontrollable impulses and give rise to incomprehensible dreams. We spend a lot of time pretending that we are normal, but underneath the surface each one of us knows that he or she is unique. ~Colin Clark
And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
~ Haruki Murakami
I grew up near the water, I grew up being lulled at night by the sound of the ocean crashing against the shore, sometimes I still imagine the peaceful sound of waves hitting the sand. My grandfather and great-grandfather taught my brothers and me how to swim when we were knee-high or maybe before. It’s been so long it’s difficult to say when my first swimming lesson was. One thing that I always remembered though was my great-grandfather saying telling me, “if your arms and legs ever get tired, roll on your back and float!” Back then sometimes I would float just for the fun of it. There’s something about the sun hitting your face with the waves carrying you like a baby in its mother’s arms and hearing the sound of your heart beating in your ear, that made life wonderful. It takes a lot of concentration to float on water, you have to imagine yourself, light as a feather, your mind has to be clear because it’s easy to just sink to the bottom like a brick if you lose your thought. In that moment of floating on your back, nothing else matters, you are one with the water and if you listen carefully enough, I’m sure you could hear the voice of God through the waves. Can you imagine that?
There have been so many times in my life that I wished I could just hit that reset button. Those times stuck in traffic and forgot to take that short cut, late for a flight and having to pay that penalty, missed on on the big one and didn’t make that investment. Here I am again, finding myself looking for that reset button, only this time it’s not about being late for a flight, we’re in lockdown, I have nowhere to go? Or about missing that big investment or being stuck in traffic. This time is beyond my control, this time, it’s a test of love, hope, but most of all a test of faith. Is my love great enough to pass on the healing energy to another Being who has lived in my heart for the past 11 years? Do I have enough hope to carry them through this unfortunate ordeal and is my faith strong enough to be rewarded with a much-needed miracle? These are the questions that have been playing in my head for the past two weeks.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 There is a thin line between holding the faith and letting go. We all go through seasons in our lives where our faith is rocked to the core and we just want to let go. But life is about learning to take leaps of faith, putting one foot in front of another even if you can’t see the path in front of you. Life is about believing in what some may call the impossible, it’s about living beyond the boundaries of what our mind tells us is the limit. I stand at the threshold of that line, my faith is being tested and I wished to God there was a reset button right now. Throughout our journey, there have been struggles, we climbed mountains even when we couldn’t see the top. Through those struggles, we’ve learned to laugh, cry, and to accept things even when they weren’t going our way. It has to led us to a greater appreciation of the good times. it gave us insight into how our life should be and how we wanted it to be and it has been a wonderful life, is it selfish to want more of those years together?
Right now I’m trying to remind myself that on cloudy days, even when we can’t see it, the Sun is there. Faith is no different, even in times we question it, faith is there, hope is there, love is every present and even in our darkest hours, the Universe is conspiring to give us that which we seek and like all things in life through the next God is omniscient and miracles happen everyday! This day and everyday until we get a clear diagnoses, I’m keeping the faith, while praying for a miracle!
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Life has a way of turning us inside out. We do our best to create the best life for ourselves and those we care deeply about. But what happens when our lives are shattered into a million pieces? Simple, we pick up those pieces and move on. A friend this week reminded me that it’s ok to stay down, while this is true, I’m also reminded that it’s also important to get back up. Get back up, push your shoulders back and move on with those shattered pieces, it’s ok to nurse those wounds, time has a way of healing all wounds and helping us put those pieces back together. The picture might be a bit distorted, a bit faded, it may even be unrecognisable. But this is what happens after a renewal, we shed the old and come into the new. That old distorted, faded, unrecognisable vision is overshadowed by your renewed vision of hope, joy, desire…….All you have to do is believe in the process and keep moving!