If you just sit and observe, you will see how restless your mind is. If you try to calm it, it only makes it worse, but over time it does calm, and when it does, there’s room to hear more subtle things – that’s when your intuition starts to blossom and you start to see things more clearly and be in the present more. Your mind just slows down, and you see a tremendous expanse in the moment. You see so much more than you could see before. It’s a discipline; you have to practice it. ~ Walter Isaacson
“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” ~Oscar Wilde
I have always been able to keep my emotions in check, I dislike crying because it gives me a headache, I especially don’t like that sullen feeling of sadness because it bruises the soul and hangs like a dark cloud overhead. You don’t know if the rain of tears is going to flow to a trickle or if there’ll be a thunderstorm. Unless you can claw yourself free from its temporary state of despair, emotions can sometimes paralyze, trapping us in a vacuum of fear and doubt. I can honestly say that for me, they make no sense because our emotions never do what we want them to do. We try to suppress the tears but they come anyway. We try to suppress the love, grief, heartache but they still manage to express themselves even when you don’t want them to thus we are all slaves to our emotions.
This has not been an easy week, but there haven’t been many easy weeks since Cancer entered our lives back in February, it’s not the first time someone close to me has had to battle the disease but it still leaves me in a tailspin because it’s never easy seeing someone you love suffer through the treatments of the disease and dear I say, it’s not fair on either side. Not fair for the sufferer or the family having to watch it all unfold. This time it really feels like the straw that’s breaking the camel’s back. Most days it’s a struggle to keep my emotions in check as it has become an uphill battle of trying to maintain a work/ life balance and trying to keep up the appearances that all is well while my emotions are boiling just underneath trying to claw themselves out. What I’ve learned in these past few months is that even if you know what to do to keep yourself going, there are moments when the mind and body become so overwhelmed that everything we know that’s good for us, go out the window then everything starts to shut down and our emotions take over. A few times I’ve found myself overflowing in joy, gratitude, sorrow, sadness, love, fear, anger during the most inconvenient! Bu through it all I’m grateful.
Why do we need emotions that leaves us so vulnerable and raw? I come to the harsh reality that our emotions may not always make sense but they’re necessary and that they help us in ways we don’t always understand. They help us to survive by forcing us to take action in situations that would otherwise pose a danger to our well-being. Emotions also work to help us understand those around us and help them understand us. They can’t be reasoned with, they won’t submit to logic and they our emotions are what makes us human, all we can do it rationalise our situation and determined the best response for the situation or situations we’re faced with.
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“Your worth is determined by you, not the judgmental measuring cups of a fickle world.” ~ Katie St. Claire
Self-love and Self-care have both become quite popular in the circles of Self- Help. Not to be neglected, two words that are often used interchangeable to describe how we feel about ourselves, are Self-worth and Self-value, they reflect how we look at our worth and how much we value ourselves. To have Self-worth means to value one’s self. Self-value is a behavioural response to how worthy you think you are. There’s not a huge difference between their meaning and they can both be used to generalize the concept of how we see our selves and how we project ourselves to others. People who often know a person’s worth tend to use it to their advantage, by exploiting that person’s abilities. I’m not saying it doesn’t exists but rarely would you will find someone, whether it’s an employer, a partner or family who will value your self-worth and honor you for that. If you do find people who hold you to the highest esteem, cherish them.
Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others’ prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. ― Roy T. Bennett
The past few years have been rough, I’ve found myself in another storm. A storm like all other, testing my faith and strength. One that has also made me question my own sanity and this year’s indeed the most challenging and nothing before has prepared me for the journey ahead. So I’m just riding each wave as it comes. I know I’m not unique in my circumstance but my reaction is, there is not a single soul on this planet that has not or will not go through some storm(s) that will make them question their existence. We are all pupils of life and what happens on that journey, how well we weather the storms in our lives depends on how well we’ve adjusted our sails. Most days I still find myself riding the waves of uncertainty but I adjust my sails accordingly because I know in the end my faith will continue to keep me strong, my family will continue to keep me grounded and hope will keep me going!