The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to. ― Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
There are many forms of grief! We grieve after a broken relationship, we grieve after the loss of a pet, but the most painful and lasting grief is that of losing a family member, the thought of going through life without that person can be brutal. Grief is a natural reaction to loss, it’s a coping mechanism that helps us deal with a loss and there is no right or wrong way to grieve because it hits everyone differently and though people say time heals all wounds, the grieving process is everlasting, the process will become easier but it will never go away. The finality of Death is biting, it feasts on our soul and at times can break us.
I don’t know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, ‘Well, if I’d known better I’d have done better,’ that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I’m sorry,’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I’m sorry.’ If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that’s rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
~ Sharon Salzberg
She needed a hero, so she become one
I keep my blogs as neutral as possible. Never swaying one way or another, just keeping it open to all mindsets. A lot of what I write comes from experience and inner expressions. This past year and a half, I’ve had some experiences of life, like all of you, I’ve experienced the impact of a global pandemic. But the past few months, I’ve experienced the impact cancer can have on, not only its victim but their family as well. Many times it’s the patient that received the care and attention, with the family being left out. Taking stock of my own well-being and emotional health, I’ve come to the realisation that women are always pushing themselves to do more, be more and be all to everyone. More so for Black women or women of colour as we’re expected to go that extra mile. History had shown us that there is a popular misconception that we are stronger, both physically and mentally, that we can handle anything thrown at us. What’s so unfortunate about this is, this has given many of us a false sense of being Superhuman because many have bought into this misconception. I myself included! It would be hypocritical of me to say that I have not bought into the be-all, do more, be everything to everyone mindset.