Connecting With Our Emotions

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
~Oscar Wilde

I have always been able to keep my emotions in check, I dislike crying because it gives me a headache, I especially don’t like that sullen feeling of sadness because it bruises the soul and hangs like a dark cloud overhead. You don’t know if the rain of tears is going to flow to a trickle or if there’ll be a thunderstorm. Unless you can claw yourself free from its temporary state of despair,  emotions can sometimes paralyze, trapping us in a vacuum of fear and doubt.  I can honestly say that for me, they make no sense because our emotions never do what we want them to do.  We try to suppress the tears but they come anyway. We try to suppress the love, grief, heartache but they still manage to express themselves even when you don’t want them to thus we are all slaves to our emotions.


This has not been an easy week, but there haven’t been many easy weeks since Cancer entered our lives back in February, it’s not the first time someone close to me has had to battle the disease but it still leaves me in a tailspin because it’s never easy seeing someone you love suffer through the treatments of the disease and dear I say, it’s not fair on either side. Not fair for the sufferer or the family having to watch it all unfold. This time it really feels like the straw that’s breaking the camel’s back. Most days it’s a struggle to keep my emotions in check as it has become an uphill battle of trying to maintain a work/ life balance and trying to keep up the appearances that all is well while my emotions are boiling just underneath trying to claw themselves out. What I’ve learned in these past few months is that even if you know what to do to keep yourself going, there are moments when the mind and body become so overwhelmed that everything we know that’s good for us, go out the window then everything starts to shut down and our emotions take over. A few times I’ve found myself overflowing in joy, gratitude, sorrow, sadness, love, fear, anger during the most inconvenient! Bu through it all I’m grateful.


Why do we need emotions that leaves us so vulnerable and raw? I come to the harsh reality that our emotions may not always make sense but they’re necessary and that they help us in ways we don’t always understand.  They help us to survive by forcing us to take action in situations that would otherwise pose a danger to our well-being. Emotions also work to help us understand those around us and help them understand us. They can’t be reasoned with, they won’t submit to logic and they our emotions are what makes us human, all we can do it rationalise our situation and determined the best response for the situation or situations we’re faced with.

YOUR TURN…IF THIS POST RESONATES WITH YOU, DROP YOUR COMMENTS BELOW!

Stay in touch! Stay inspired! Follow me on InstagramTwitter or Facebook

Recognising Your Self-Worth and Value

Photo Credit

“Your worth is determined by you, not the judgmental measuring cups of a fickle world.”
Katie St. Claire

Self-love and Self-care have both become quite popular in the circles of Self- Help. Not to be neglected, two words that are often used interchangeable to describe how we feel about ourselves, are  Self-worth and Self-value, they reflect how we look at our worth and how much we value ourselves.  To have Self-worth  means to value one’s self. Self-value is a behavioural response to how worthy you think you are. There’s not a huge difference between their meaning and they can both be used to generalize the concept of  how we see our selves and how we project ourselves to others.  People who often know a person’s worth tend to use it to their advantage, by exploiting that person’s abilities.  I’m not saying it doesn’t exists but rarely would you will find someone, whether it’s an employer, a partner or family who will value your self-worth and honor you for that.  If you do find people who hold you to the highest esteem, cherish them.

 

Read more

Even The Best Laid Plans Fall Apart

Photo Credit

The best laid plans, even the ones perfectly sketched and ready for print, are sometimes scribbled over. Be prepared, with extra paper and pencils, so you can start your drawing over again.
Christine E. Szymanski

This week someone reminded me that even the best laid plans fall apart, the key is not to fall a part with them. But I knew this! So why do I still rise to a vibration of falling completely asunder when plans fail? It’s easy to become overwhelmed when trying to find all the hacks and tricks to help you to achieve something, then human mature steps in and we allow frustration to anchor us in that moment of defeat and disappointment. Not to discourage you, but as I was reminded, even with a plan, success is not guaranteed and though you maybe aware of this, each time a things don’t go as plan our nature is to pause, question our motives and wallow in defeat. The great news is, you really don’t need a grandiose plan to succeed in anything. All you need is the motivation to hit the restart button on that goal you’ve set out for yourself when plans fail.

Read more

Simple Essentials That Can Promote Happiness

Photo Credit

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters.”
~Audrey Hepburn

It’s said that in life we need just three things to be happy, money, a job that brings contentment and someone to love. If you ask a room full of people what brings them happiness, you will get more than those three things but they will no doubt be at the top of the list because people often them with happiness. There are many roads to happiness and recognising these without falling into the trap of shallow happiness is sometimes complicated. Think back to a time when you felt true happiness and let that guide you to finding that again.

Read more

Learning To Express My Authentic Self

Empath/ˈɛmpaθ/noun

  1. a person with the ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.

My grandmother not only had a heart of gold, like most grandmothers, but she was also very intuitive. She gave this personification of someone wise and all knowing, for a young child at tine this was unsettling and I remember asking her one time if she was a psychic, she simply smiled and said no, ‘I just know things!’ I never truly appreciated her gifts of knowing what to say, when to say it or what to do and when to do it, until I got older. Her selflessness, always giving so much of herself to others, a lot of whom were undeserving, her relentless willingness to help those in need even if it meant giving her last. Often came across more as a weakness than anything else. But those who truly appreciated her, said she had a pure heart of Gold.

As the old adage goes, the chip doesn’t fall far from the block. It was not just a part of my upbringing, it was engrained in my fabric because I started noticing the same attitudes in myself that I saw in her and I was never aware of the word empath until I was well into my 40s. All of my life I was singled out as being selfish, stubborn, naive and just a little bit crazy. Some call it a gift, some say it’s a curse, I’m caught in the middle because the empathic self also comes with the uncontrollable surge of feeling the emotions of others. This made me understand better why my grandmother was so jealous of her time, why she was bordered becoming a reclusive. Empaths are not selfish, crazy or naive, we just see and experience the world differently. I have had friends who stopped communicating with me after my warning them about certain relationships only to have them to come back months or sometimes years later to ask. “how did you know?”  Over the years, I can’t say that I’ve learned to control my sense of knowing, because how do you not care about others? It’s not something that can be flicked off and on at will. But I have become more aware of my emotions and have found people who have supported me along the way.

I think Anthon S. Maarten put it best into words what he says………..

“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”


As the world went into lockdown, there were many who buckled under the pressures of confinement. My spirit welcomed it! I no longer had to lie in bed for an hour while my brain coerces my my body into motion. I didn’t have to exhaust myself for 9 hours while trying to maintain the barrier to buffer the noise and all the different personalities around me.  In those months my spirit had the opportunity to heal, my thoughts were not randomly trying to wander off, they were more focused and gained clarity. It was a renewal of self, something I was not able to do in a long time. It felt great! Had it not been for that break I don’t think I would’ve had the mental or emotional capacity to handle all that is happening in my personal life right now. That time of rejuvenation and renewal gave me the strength to reinforce those boundaries. In doing this, I’m learning also learning to express my authentic self!

YOUR TURN…IF THIS POST RESONATES WITH YOU, DROP YOUR COMMENTS BELOW

Stay in touch! Stay inspired! Follow me on InstagramTwitter or Facebook

6 Quotes To Help You Move Forward

During the past few weeks I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on everything that has happened in the past year up to this point. Looking back made me realized that many of the times when I thought were really tough and there was no way out, there was a way out. I was just staring too long at the wall to see the door that lead to that way out and on many occasion I was being redirected to someone or something I needed now. So I’ve stopped reflecting on the past and now using my energy to visualizing a future I want. I’ve reached a point now where I’m no longer worried about things that are beyond my control and appreciating the people that are here to support me now.

Here are 6 quotes that helped me move forward.

Photo Credit

We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won’t need to tell anybody it does. Light houses don’t fire cannons to call attention to their shining – just shine.

Dwight L. Moody

Read more

Trusting Your Instincts

Photo Credit

Being discontented doesn’t always mean you’re not satisfied with your life, or that you’re greedy for  MORE.  It’s a feeling of dissatisfaction for something or  someone.   If you are feeling discontent about something, someone or a situation in your life. It means you’re connected, on some level, with your deepest and true desires . You are connected enough to know you’ve been thrown off course and to quote Ms. Clavel, “something is not right!” You may not be able to pin point exactly what is wrong. But the instinctive is there. The more open you are to seeking peace of mind by removing unnecessary stress from your life and following your instinct, the more contented your life will be.

But when that feeling of discontent presents itself, there are measures you can take to combat those feelings.

Write, or talk to someone…
You know by now I’m a huge advocated of journaling. Sit down with pen and paper, and WRITE. Don’t think about it, write whatever comes to your mind, no matter how random or senseless it seem. Just write. Writing provides a direct link to your deepest thoughts.

Besides Journaling, talking is always good, find someone you can trust and can openly express yourself to. The more you speak about a situation, the more clarity you are going to receive about that situation. But don’t get confused and allow other’s opinion or agenda to interfere with your personal discovery. How do you do this? If the person you’re talking to spends more time talking back or interrupting what you’re trying to relate, then they’re not the right person to be speaking too. Remember you’re not really speaking to get their opinion, they’re suppose to be your support system.

Be kind to yourself.
Keep your thoughts, attitude and actions kind. I can’t express this enough, do something for you! Watch your favourite movie in your comfort clothes, read a great book. I’m pushing myself to take up running or power walking. Don’t let discontentment leave you in a lurch. Be KIND to yourself.

You’re not crazy or ungrateful, or alone…… You WILL get past this. It may take time to move past it all and regain your place of happiness and contentment, all minor or major life change begin with simple steps.

Your turn, if this post resonates with you, drop your comments below!

Stay in touch! Stay inspired! Follow me on InstagramTwitter or Facebook

©Etta  D. Richards

The Process Of Reinventing Ourselves

Our thoughts about what we are and what we can be precisely determine what we can be.

~Anthony Robbins

In life, there is seldom happiness or success without hard times or struggle. Coming out of our mother’s womb is a struggle for life as we take in our first breath and the time we leave this Earth we struggle for life as we take our last. Life is a constant journey where we learn to leap over boundaries and climb mountains while avoiding all the potholes along the way.  Yet we continue to push forward towards happiness, success and the passion for life. It’s human nature to want comfort, happiness and joy, it’s knitted into our DNA.

We live through a daily process of designing and redesigning ourselves to adjust to every challenge that presents itself thinking and doing the things that we feel will remove the obstacles and struggle from our lives. While we may think bits and pieces or our parents create us, sure they have contributed to our existence but we are also the creation our experiences, they is one also shape who we are, keeping us in constant evolution. Our sense of what life is, what life should be can only be changed through changing our thoughts, views and the way we handle the struggles that come our way. 

I am constantly evolving , I am not the same person I was last year, last month or even last week. There have been so many situation that has forced me to adapt, situation that required a different me, a stronger me. Like a soft shell lobster, I’ve had to shed my old armour and put on a new one, a more resilient one. I’ve had to reassess my stations in life and rebuild a body that could withstand the storms because I know greater stress can come if I don’t adjust my sails and that trying to sail against the wind those mountains will only get higher, obstacles get larger and struggles harder. Once your mind has accepted that and not cling to the negativity you can adapt to handle anything that comes your way.

Your turn, if this post resonates with you, drop your comments below!

Stay in touch! Stay inspired! Follow me on InstagramTwitter or Facebook

©Etta  D. Richards

Take Control of Your Life & Be Happy!!

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

Bad things happen to all of us, we have all been hit by misfortune, unfortunate events and circumstances, which makes us wonder, why bad things happen to good people! Life is often unfair in its givings At some point in our lives have been or will be affected by some dreadful circumstances or tragedies. When these things happen, It’s okay scream, shout, get angry, and feel sorry for yourself and your circumstance. I’ve thrown so many ‘Pity-Parties‘ I have a standing selection of Wine, Chocolate, A bed & Pillow . Not necessarily in that order, but those are at the top of my go-to list. But I know at some point I have to shake it off, release everything, and not become entirely consumed by it; because if I don’t, there’s no moving forward. I’d be stuck in my pity party, enveloped in its madness.

Read more

Everyday Miracles

Photo Credit

If you think that you are an extraordinary person you are definitely right because every existence represents a miracle and every miracle is extraordinary by definition!”
~Mehmet Murat ildan

Nothing like pain, disappointment or misfortune to get your praying for miracles. Even in ordinary times I’ve prayed for miracles, big one, little ones, impossible ones. Miracles are like snowflakes; each miracle is unique in its own way. They’re as individual as the person praying for that miracle and we’re always looking for a miracle or looking for something extraordinary to happen in our lives. While we wait, a thousand other things are happening around us that go completely overlooked because they’re not significant enough, we see miracles as something extraordinary, mind-blowing and captivating.  We see them as something so rare, they only happen once in a life time and most often only to special people or those who are exceptionally faithful to God.


We all have our own definition of what a miracle is or what they should look like and while many wait to walk on water. Many are thankful for the miracle of waking up each morning. While many wait for angels to descend from heaven, others are thankful for the miracle of watching the sunrise.  I’ve learned to appreciate the miracles that are happening around me every day. So while you wait for that extraordinary something, that mind-blowing, captivating feat against law and nature I am grateful for the miracles of life that are constantly in motion. 

YOUR TURN…IF THIS POST RESONATES WITH YOU, DROP YOUR COMMENTS BELOW

Stay in touch! Stay inspired! Follow me on InstagramTwitter or Facebook

©Etta  D. Richards